Detours Make a Road Trip More Fun
by shippingshipperwhoships
Summary: Kurt and Sebastian are on a road trip to a romantic lakeside cabin, they just have to make a quick stop on the way. Oneshot.


**Rating: NC-17**

**Warnings: Blow jobs, sexual activity in a public place, cursing**

**Pairing: Kurtbastian**

"Are we going to stop anytime soon? I need to use the restroom and I'm starving."

Sebastian scowled at the road and turned on the cruise control so that he wouldn't be tempted to start speeding, again. "The last three times I _tried_ to stop you found something horribly wrong with the place—"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "They were disgusting, Sebastian. It would have been more sanitary to find a bush; I'm almost positive the second one was rat infested, which is unfortunate, because I think it was poor living conditions, even for rats."

"Drama queen," Sebastian muttered under his breath. "As I was going to say before you interrupted me. There's a fairly large gas station, a Loves or something coming up in about five minutes, and it's the last place we'll see for about 50 miles after we get off the interstate and we need gas. In case you hadn't figured it out, that means we're stopping, you can go inside if you want. Alternatively, you can go find a fucking bush, it's completely up to you, _Darling_."

Sebastian didn't even have to look away from the road to know that Kurt was glaring at him, three years into their relationship he had something of a sixth sense. His lips almost twitched, but three years had also taught him that smiling would probably get him smacked, and smirking would _definitely _end in a violent and fiery car crash.

"You know, _Sweetheart_, when you started going on and on about your grandfather's cabin and how we were really overdue a vacation," Kurt started, fingers drumming impatiently against the center console. "I seriously assumed we would be booking a flight to this wondrous cabin on a magical lake, and now that I know it's out _in the middle of nowhere_, I can't help but begin to wonder, yet again, why the hell we didn't fly! We would already _be_ there!"

"I already told you," Sebastian turned his head to glance in the mirror to hide his compulsive eye roll. "It was always family tradition to make the drive at least once a year. We were always flying to France and back, not always even as a family and the trip was pretty much the only time we really had to just be together."

"That's lovely and everything, but _we_ live together, and the longest amount of time we've spent apart in over a year was three days." Kurt grumbled, mostly under his breath; though out of the corner of his eye Sebastian could see that the other man had softened, even if just a little.

Sebastian flipped on the turn signal and merged onto the exit, "Oh look, we're here, and it doesn't even look rat infested."

Kurt huffed, "We're not close enough to determine that yet."

"Uh huh."

The truck stop really didn't look anywhere near as bad as the last few places had, it was large and brightly lit, and this time Kurt didn't think he would fear for his safety if he got out of the car. It did appear to be pretty empty save for a few 18 wheelers, but then, it _was_ nearing midnight.

Sebastian pulled the rental car up to the closest gas pump and opened the center console to retrieve his wallet, "I'll get the car filling up if you want to go ahead; that is if you aren't worried about all the rats."

He got a bitch glare to rival even some of the best he had gotten back in high school for his efforts. "You're an asshole, though I guess rats wouldn't concern you much, as you've always had such rodent-like qualities."

"Love you too, Honeybunch!" Sebastian called at his retreating boyfriends back, snorting when Kurt just made a rude gesture at him without even turning around. The man _really _didn't fare well on long road trips.

Kurt was practically twitching by the time he made it into the gas station and _possibly _a touch rudely asked the attendant where the bathroom was.

When he finished, he lingered in front of the sinks, washing his hands carefully and glancing around the surprisingly clean bathroom. All the while muttering to himself, "I'm calling his mother when we get back to New York, I bet he's making all that bullshit about the 'family childhood road trip traditions' up, just to force me into a car with him for 11 hours."

The door opened with a surprisingly loud bang, startling Kurt who had started to dry his hands. He relaxed immediately when he saw his boyfriend's smirking face gazing at him in the mirror.

"So, I guess it was clean enough for you?" Sebastian asked. He moved forward so that he was standing behind Kurt, hands coming up to press at his hips and bending just slightly so that he could rest his chin on Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt snorted, tossing his paper towel into the trash before shifting so that he was leaning back against Sebastian and covering his hands with his own. "It was suitable enough."

Sebastian turned his head so that he could nuzzle Kurt's neck, and pressed his body closer, "Didn't meet any of my rodent brethren then?"

Kurt huffed out a little laugh, "No, you oversized Meerkat; I didn't see any damn rodents."

Sebastian just grinned and pressed a kiss to the spot behind Kurt's ear, fingers coming up to slip inside the slighter man's shirt.

"Ohh no, no no no!" Kurt pulled Sebastian's hands away and turned to face him. "We are not fooling around in a gas station bathroom in the middle of nowhere Tennessee!"

Sebastian grinned and stepped closer, crowding Kurt against the sink, hands finding their way back to Kurt's hips, "Why the hell not?"

"I'm pretty sure I just told you, we're in a gas station men's room!"

He was unsurprisingly ignored; Sebastian leaned closer to press their lips together instead, nipping sharply at Kurt's lower lip only to immediately sooth the slight sting with his tongue.

"Hooking up in restrooms wasn't ever exactly my thing Sebastian," Kurt murmured against Sebastian's lips, determined to pull away and cut this absolutely horrible idea short.

"No," Sebastian grinned against his mouth, "But it was mine."

Kurt sighed and let himself be pulled into another kiss, parting his lips this time so that Sebastian's tongue could slip inside. It was always easy to fall into this with Sebastian, their relationship might not always be simple or make sense to anyone but them, but this was absolutely perfect, always.

He started suddenly when Sebastian's hand came up to cup him through his pants, immediately beginning to knead the flesh there.

"Seb." He moaned, breaking away from Sebastian's mouth, cock hardening quickly despite his lingering reservations. "You planned this before you even walked into the damn bathroom didn't you?"

Sebastian, denied Kurt's mouth, began to leave a trail of open mouthed kisses down Kurt's neck, "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"Jackass," Kurt managed to get out through another soft moan. "This is seriously a thing for you isn't it? You honestly want to get off right here, right now, even though we're two hours away from our very own romantic lakeside getaway."

"Your jackass though," Sebastian muttered, hands coming up to unbutton Kurt's uncharacteristically relaxed jeans. "Think about it baby; I'm going to be on my knees for you, sucking your cock just the way I know you like it, and anybody could walk in that door, any minute."

"Fuck! Voyeurism, is—oh shit! Your kink, Sebastian, not mine."

Sebastian's hand had slipped into his briefs, long fingers immediately wrapping around him, gripping the base tightly before sliding up with a twist of his wrist. His thumb began rubbing circles around the tip, spreading the small amount of wetness there. "I can always stop I guess, if you're really not interested."

"Fuck you, you prick," Kurt gasped, his words only spurring Sebastian on, his hand tightened and he began jacking him off in earnest.

"That would take a bit longer Sweetheart, and unfortunately, we have no lube at the moment." Sebastian grinned into Kurt's neck, alternating between loosening and tightening his fist around his boyfriend's dick in a way that he knew drove Kurt absolutely crazy. "Does that mean I get to blow you now?"

"Yes, please! Sebastian, come on!"

Sebastian wasted no time; he dropped to his knees and immediately tugged Kurt's jeans and briefs down to his ankles in one motion. His eyes greedily watching as the man's freed cock swayed momentarily until Sebastian reached out to once again grip the base. He leaned forward and unceremoniously took the first few inches into his mouth, tonguing gently at the slit and tasting slightly bitter precome. He brought his unoccupied hand up to keep Kurt from thrusting too deeply into his mouth.

"Oh my god, Sebastian!" Kurt's hands left the countertop where they had been resting and came up to tangle in Sebastian's hair, forcing himself to simply slid his fingers through the thick locks and refrain from grabbing hold and forcing himself further into Sebastian's mouth.

Sebastian pulled off, grinning again, "Did I not tell you would enjoy this?"

"Yeah, sure, I enjoy it better when your mouth is full."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and leaned forward to lick a broad stripe from base to tip, "So impatient."

Kurt sighed, breaking into a moan when Sebastian made his way back down and took one of his balls into his mouth. "We—ah, _are_ still in a public bathroom, and I know it's a thing for you, but I would rather not be made a sex offender for getting head from my boyfriend in a public place."

"You are seriously way too coherent." Sebastian breathed against the skin of his inner thigh and moved his hand from Kurt's hip to cup his balls again, gently applying pressure and rolling them in his hand.

He took Kurt back into his mouth, taking more this time, determined to get his boyfriend off quickly as opposed to teasing him. He began bobbing his head up and down Kurt's length, taking a little more on each pass until he was working to relax his throat around him.

"Oh god, baby, so good!" Kurt moaned above him, fingers tightening in his hair and hips beginning to work in short, aborted thrusts.

Sebastian worked his tongue against the prominent vein on the underside of Kurt's cock and began sucking at the tip each time he pulled up. He reached down to unbutton his own jeans, which had become almost painfully tight, with his unoccupied hand and moaned, causing Kurt to thrust just a little deeper. Spurred on by Kurt's now continuous moans and pleading, making sure to keep the palm of his hand pressed against Kurt's testicles he slid two fingers a little further to press against his perineum.

He gazed up at Kurt through his lashes, taking in flushed cheeks and glazed over blue-gray eyes, his mouth open and red and letting loose some of the most sinful sounds Sebastian had ever heard.

"Bas! Close, so fucking close, Bastian," his voice was high and breathy, the way it usually wouldn't be until they had been at it for much longer than this. Sebastian would have smirked if he could at the knowledge that his boyfriend was a great deal more turned on by the situation than he had insisted he was.

Sebastian hummed around Kurt's cock, ignoring just how fucking hard he was himself and focusing all of his energy on getting Kurt off. The fingers pressing against Kurt's perineum moved so that they could circle dryly circle Kurt's entrance, just a light, careful touch of his fingertips.

Kurt made a keening noise in the back of his throat, "Fuck! Sebastian, ungh!"

Sebastian pulled off until only the first few inches were in his mouth, bringing his hand up to yet again wrap around the base, and hollowed his cheeks to suck at the tip. Kurt bucked his hips twice more before coming with gasping moan.

Sebastian worked him through it, swallowing each drop and not letting up until Kurt used the hands still in his hair to push him away.

"Fuck." Kurt muttered, fingers stroking idly over the back of Sebastian's head as he collapsed back against the counter and waited on his breath to even out. "You would think that eventually I would stop forgetting how good you are at that."

"I'm insulted that you could ever forget that you're dating a veritable sex god," Sebastian said, voice a touch raspy, as he carefully began pulled Kurt's underwear and jeans back up his legs.

He stood once again and immediately leaned down to initiate an open mouthed kiss, letting Kurt taste himself on his tongue.

"I didn't say that," Kurt gasped out when they pulled apart again and glanced down at the obvious bulge in Sebastian's open jeans.

"You don't have to return the favor, I'm so close right now I could probably go in one of those stalls and be done in about 30 sec—"

Kurt rolled his eyes and shoved at Sebastian until his back hit the wall next to him before dropping to his knees, "Shut up, just know that you're burning these jeans when we get home, and then you're paying to replace them, you asshole."

Sebastian groaned, watching as Kurt roughly tugged at his pants and boxer briefs, only pulling them down so that the fabric was tucked under his balls. "Yeah, yeah I'll do whatever the fuck you want if you hurry up and put my dick in your mouth."

"God you change your mind quickly," Kurt murmured, close enough that his lips brushed against the tip of his cock as he spoke.

Sebastian knew better than to dare mess up Kurt's hair when there was a chance that someone would see him afterward, so he settled for gripping the back of his neck. He watched as kitten licks were place on the head of his cock, lapping up a surprising amount of precome. He got absolutely no warning when Kurt opened his mouth wide and sank down on his cock, he couldn't take as much as Sebastian could, but Sebastian had never had any need for complaint.

Kurt quickly found a fast paced rhythm, bobbing his head up and down and using his hand to work what he could take.

"Fuck, Sweetheart, I wasn't joking, I'm really fucking close." Sebastian told him, his hips working in tiny, almost compulsive circles. He might have been embarrassed at his sudden lack of endurance, but he was honestly so turned on by the fact that Kurt had let any of this happen that he couldn't bring himself to care.

Kurt, for his part, didn't hesitate, simply continued to move up and down his boyfriend's shaft at a surprising pace, his eyes never leaving Sebastian's.

Sebastian moved his hand from the back of Kurt's neck to cup his cheek, groaning loudly when it allowed him to feel his own dick working in and out of Kurt's mouth. His thumb moved down to caress Kurt's lower lip, stroking the sensitive reddened skin. Kurt moaned around him and the sudden vibrations were all it took.

Kurt pulled away as he began to come, his hand continuing to work him through his orgasm, watching, seemingly fascinated as Sebastian spilled over his fist.

Mirroring Kurt's earlier actions, Sebastian slumped against the wall, watching dazedly as Kurt stood and reached behind him for a handful of paper towels to clean up with. With now clean hands he turned, a soft smile playing over swollen lips, and fixed Sebastian's clothes for him.

"That wasn't even about me getting you off was it?" He asked, hands sliding up over Sebastian's chest until they were looped around his neck.

"Nope," Sebastian gripped Kurt's hips, pulling him closer until their bodies were flush against each other, "What made you think it was?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "I don't know, I guess I just assumed that was the point, it's not like you ever had any trouble getting a guy on his knees for you in high school, even in the nasty bathrooms at Scandals, I thought it was sort of a throwback to that."

Sebastian rubbed his hand up over the small of Kurt's back and leaned forward to press a kiss to the side of his mouth. "Yeah, that's kind of the point, how often do you think _I_ was on _my_ knees for any of them? I did that shit to get off, not to get other people off. I didn't care about any of them."

He leaned in to nuzzle against Kurt's jaw, "Then I met you, and I couldn't stand you—"

Kurt snickered, but Sebastian ignored him and kept talking, "Because you were fucking beautiful and perfect and _you_ couldn't stand _me_. You were kind of like the exact opposite of those nameless faces and I was pretty positive I would never have you that way. Though, I have to be honest, there was a time before we actually got together when I was determined that I would someday. Then we were suddenly dating, and you made me fall in love with you and the fantasy changed. There is very little in this world I wouldn't do for you Kurt Hummel."

Kurt made a soft sound like a sniffle, and then abruptly reached up to smack Sebastian's arm. Sebastian reared back, eyes wide and confused.

"Why is it you can't say romantic things like that to me in normal, non-bathroom like settings? God, you are such an _ass_—"

Sebastian snorted and jerked Kurt forward into a kiss, effectively cutting off what was sure to be a long rant about proper romance etiquette.

When their lips finally parted, leaving them still wrapped around each other, Kurt sighed, looking like he was fighting away a smile, "I love you too, you moron."

The door banging open caused them both to nearly jump several feet in the air, they turned to find a scruffy looking man wearing a cowboy hat staring at them with a raised eyebrow.

He snorted when Kurt pulled away from Sebastian, cheeks flushed and fighting off both embarrassment and absolute relief that the man hadn't come in five minutes earlier.

The guy raised both hands in a peaceful gesture and made his way to a stall, "None of my business, just need the restroom, gentlemen."

Sebastian snickered and took Kurt's hand to lead him out of the bathroom, "Come on _Cupcake_, we still have a romantic getaway to actually get to."

**A/N: Yeah, so, this is literally nothing more than me wanting to practice getting my smut on, cause… it had been awhile. Like, seriously the last even vaguely smutty thing I wrote was right after the last Harry Potter book came out, so like… 2001. And that never even got posted anywhere.**

**I'm pretty much always a nervous wreck when it comes to putting anything out there for other people to read, and this is like a 1000x worse… SO, feel free to give me some feedback, let me know if you kind of liked it, loved it, hated it, you think I should never ever ever write smut again and especially if you think there's something specific I could improve on (I'm sure there is, it's strange that my mind can be a pretty endless litany of absolute filth, but I can find it difficult to write it down.)**

**Apparently I can't write Kum without immediately needing to write Kurtbastian afterwards, because this popped into my head the second I finished Clarity or Insanity. ALSO! I am honest to god working on the next chapter of YMMS, I'm just having to re-work a few things so that hopefully things run more smoothly in my head! So… laters!**


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